Book, Reviews, Excerpt

Fairly Human
Holly Jacobs
ImaJinn Books

Three fairy novellas in one book!

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Myrtle, Fern and Blossom have finally stepped over the line. Bernie, in charge of the Fairy Council this century, sentences them to live as humans for the next six months. Not only that, he strips away their facades and rather than the older-lady personas they’ve grown used to over the centuries, he sends them back to their true forms.  They're babes.  Super hot women guaranteed to make any man stand up and notice.

Three fairies, stripped of most of their powers and thrust on unsuspecting mortals? Life is going to get interesting.

Not all the mortals are quite so unsuspecting. The entire Aaronson clan has dealt with the fairies before, and all three siblings have the fairies to thank for their happy marriages. They help where they can, as does Fiona, another one time goddaughter.  But this ordeal is something each fairy must experience on her own.  For the first time ever  the three fairies--uh, women-- find themselves on independent paths that collide with three different men.  Men who teach Myrtle, Fern and Blossom about a magic that has nothing to do with fairy-ness, and everything to do with love.

In the end, Myrtle, Fern and Blossom find love and must decide what to do...should they return to Fairyland when their sentence is over and forget the men who have touched them, or should they throw aside their previous lives and build new ones with the men they love?

A Holly Jacobs' Classic Dear Fairy Godmother Series
Mad About Max
Magic for Joy
Miracles for Nick
Fairly Human

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Book, Reviews, Excerpt

 

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Reviews:

"A frothy romp." ~ RT Bookclub

"In Fairly Human, the talented Holly Fuhrmann has found a perfect way to wrap up her fairy godmother stories."  ~ A Romance Review

"Fairly Human is a terrific fantasy that hooks fans of the genre...readers will be charmed." 
~Harriet Klausner, The Best Reviews

"Ms. Fuhrmann charms her readers with a delightful story, full of her trademark wit and humor."
~Kelley Hartsell, The Best Reviews

"The three fairies were delightful characters and I enjoyed the plot of the novel very much. It kept me turning the pages to find the happily ever after ending." ~ Mariah, The Romance Studio

Book, Reviews, Excerpt

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EXCERPT: Fairly Human
by Holly Jacobs

copyrighted 2003

Prologue

Three women somewhere between late middle age and early senior citizenship, all wearing crayon colored can-can outfits, sat in a line on a stage. The woman in red had just taken off a shoe and was massaging her foot.

Bernie smiled.

This was going to be the best time he’d had in months.

Well, not the best time. His new wife was the best time, but this was the next-best time. His smile grew broader.

"Hello, ladies. What brings you to Fairyland?"

"We’re between cases," Fern, the brunette, wearing a the bright green can-can outfit said. "So we thought we’d get in some practice on our dance."

"Yes," said Blossom, the crayon-yellow haired woman whose outfit was the same shade as her hair. "We thought we’d surprise everyone at the Beltane festival with a new dance."

"If we catch Grace in a good mood, maybe we’ll even do it for her and the family," Fern said.

"Don’t count on it," Myrtle, the red-haired, red-clothed woman said. "Grace has a deep-rooted bias against our can-can dances."

"Well, she wouldn’t if she could see this routine," Blossom said.

Bernie cleared his throat. "As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, it appears you won’t be doing a dance at this year’s Beltane Festival. You won’t be in Fairyland in May, you see."

Myrtle studied him a minute, and Bernie could see that she knew they were in trouble. "Just where will we be?" she asked.

"The exact where, is up to you. But the answer to where you won’t be, is in Fairyland. You see, the Council has decided you need to spend more time with mortals. You’ve spent years working with them, but we worry you don’t always realize how you--um, mishaps--yes, your mishaps affect them. In order to rectify the situation Council has decided you will spend more time with mortals...as mortals."

He watched as his meaning sank in. Their faces sank and Bernie’s spirit soared.

"You, you can’t be serious," Myrtle sputtered.

"No, I’m not serious, I’m Bernie," he laughed at his own joke, but the three women didn’t even crack a smile, and that made him laugh even harder. "You see the three of you are about to find out what it feels like to have your life meddled with."

"Are you complaining?" Blossom asked. "I mean, I’m sure Fiona will love hearing that you’re not happy with our work."

"That’s not what I meant, I mean--"

This time Fern smiled. "If you think she was annoyed when she sued us for not giving her a happily-ever-after, just imagine how perturbed she’ll be when she finds out her husband isn’t pleased with our fairy-godmothering. After all, you did marry the girl and bring her here to Fairyland to live."

"That’s not what I’m saying at all."  The three fairy godmothers had brought him and his new wife together in their usual round-about, insane sort of way. It took Fiona suing them in a human court to get their match-making started.

"You know I adore Fiona," he said loudly, just in case his wife was eavesdropping, "and I am happier than anyone that she likes it here and fits in so well. She’s even talked about finding a job here in Fairyland."

"Then what are you saying, Bernie?" Myrtle asked. "Because you seem to be doing a lot of talking, but you don’t seem to be saying much of anything."

"You three need to be quiet and let me finish."

How had he lost control? He always seemed to lose it when these three were around, which is why he’d approached Fairy Council with this plan. After all, if he couldn’t control them no one would be able to.

"Finish?" Myrtle said. "You haven’t even started."

"Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. I started yesterday by going to Council with my plan, and they all agree."

"What’s the plan, exactly?" Fern asked.

"Oh, now you want to listen, do you? Maybe I’ll just sit here and you three can go on trying to talk circles around me, if you like."

Blossom jumped off the stage and stomped her foot. "Bernie, you are the most obstinate, opinionated and--"

"And you’re going to spend the next six months as a human, stripped of your powers and finding out what it’s like to be one of the people you work your magic on."

Bernie finally achieved one of his lifetime goals...Myrtle, Blossom and Fern were speechless.

"Ah, for the first time ever, I’ve managed to shut the three of you up. Six months. The Council agreed that your help--while it does bear results--is highly unorthodox and upsetting to the people involved. We decided it would be beneficial to have you all learn what it’s like to be truly mortal."

"Bernie, you can lie to the Council," Myrtle said, "you can even lie to yourself, but don’t think you can lie to us. This is revenge, pure and simple. It has nothing to do with our disconcerting mortals, and everything to do with us disconcerting you."

"There’s nothing I can say that will change your mind about my motives, but I thought it would comfort you to know that Berrybelle herself said this was the right course of action."

His mother was one of the high priestesses of the tribe. She had the gift of the sight. She rarely voiced an opinion, believing it was better to let things go as the should on their own, so when she did voice an opinion, everyone listened.

Even the three thorns-in-his-side fairies in front of him.

"Berrybelle?" Fern whispered.

"But your mother never agrees with you," Myrtle said.

"You’re the bane of her existence," Fern added.

"And I wish that someday you have a child who worries you as much as you’ve worried your mother," Blossom said.

"Blossom?" Myrtle and Fern gasped together.

Bernie didn’t say a word, but he felt weak-in-the-knees, a decidedly unfairy and unmanly reaction to Blossom’s wish.

"Take it back," he gasped.

"Bernie, you know she can’t," Myrtle said.

"And you and Fiona have talked about have a child," Fern added gently.

"In a century or two. Certainly not now. Why we’ve hardly had a chance to be together." A father? He couldn’t be a father. Not yet. He’d barely adjusted to being a husband. He loved Fiona so intensely that the feeling frequently threatened to overwhelm him. The thought of sharing her love with someone else was disconcerting, and the idea of being responsible for a child was more than disconcerting, it was terrifying.

"Take it back," he repeated.

"It’s been almost a year," Myrtle said.

"You’ve been hanging around humans far too long. A year is just a blink of the eye. A child? Blossom, how could you?"

"I--I--I--" Blossom stuttered and then broke down into tears. "You’re going to have a baby...a baby I wished on you. Oh, I’m so excited. Can I be her godmother?"

"That’s it," he said, still trying to adjust to this new wrinkle in the fabric of his well-plotted life. He needed to get the fairies out of Fairyland before they could create any more problems. "Six months. Pick a continent."

"We want a city. Erie," said Myrtle. "Send us back to Erie, Pennsylvania."

"You think the Aaronsons will be able to help you? I know you feel close to them, after you brought all three of them together with their spouses." He considered it a moment and then shrugged. "Well, they may keep you from starving, but they’re not going to be able to help you replace your magic. And what are the three of you going to do without your magic for six months? I wanted six decades, but the Council said no. Then I tried for six years, but still they said no. But if you mess up too bad, maybe I can get them to reconsider."

"Bernie, you’re truly a vindictive sort, aren’t you? And after I just gave you a baby, how can you be so mean?" Blossom wailed.

"That’s it. Go. Erie, here you come, and there’ll you’ll stay for the next six month. Oh, and when you get there, I have one other little surprise."

He waved and arm and the three women vanished. He’d check in on them later. But first, he had to find his wife and tell her they were going to have a baby.

A baby. A baby that Blossom wished them. In Fairyland wishes were as good as actions.

A baby.

The idea wasn’t quite as terrifying.

Fiona would be a wonderful mother, and he...he would be the best father in the world.

A baby.

Suddenly, all thoughts of Myrtle, Fern and Blossom evaporated as his heart was suddenly filled to the point of bursting.

A baby!

"Fiona," he called as the fairies can-can hall disappeared and Bernie started off through the Fairyland forest looking for his wife...the mother of his soon-to-be child.

Once he’d found her he’d check in on the fairly human trio.

Yes, he might owe Myrtle, Fern and Blossom a lot, but that wasn’t going to stop him from enjoying their upcoming trials and tribulations.

Book, Reviews, Excerpt